The kayaker’s name was Lance Decker; one of
those special breed of men who would rather struggle with hypothermia than rush
hour traffic. Decker wasn’t trying to break any long distance paddle records this year, he was just test piloting a prototype replacement
for the Quest X3. Nineteen feet long
and twenty-two inches wide, the new Yak featured
a Kevlar hull modification that
wasn’t significantly different from
the X3, but might add half a mile to
an eight hour paddle.
But on this partly cloudy day in July that
didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that something sixteen feet
long was trailing behind him. He was reasonably certain that it had begun to
shadow him shortly after he launched at Benton Harbor. That was twenty nerve wracking
miles ago. Of course he could have paddled to shore but he wasn’t looking at
this thing the way most people would
have.
He was a veteran of thousands of hours of
paddling in shark inhabited waters. Never
had he been attacked. Now the odds of finding a shark in Lake Michigan were next to impossible,
therefore he was taking pictures of something that was merely shaped like a shark. A mutated catfish perhaps. But it was following
him, and the longer it stayed with him the more colorful the occurrence as he
continued to take pictures with his phone camera and send them out on the
internet.
His problem was time. He was in an area that
was well developed and he could already hear the sounds of distant voices. But
the witnesses would be useless to him if he allowed the sun to drop too close
to the horizon. He needed to bring his little craft to shore some eight miles
short of where he had planned to spend the night.
There are two normal ways to alter course on a
kayak: Paddle on one side only or drag the paddle on the side you wish to turn
toward. The kayak rudder is not used for turning purposes. It is used to keep
you on a straight course when dealing with prevailing winds abeam or cross
currents. Decker stabbed the water on his port side and the long nose of the
kayak veered over to point at a dock some eighty yards away.
The man’s brows knitted with concern when he
stole a glance over his shoulder and realized that his maneuver had prompted
the big fish to sink deeper into the less than crystal clear water.
“Aw
shit!” he thought to himself.
He was twenty yards from the dock when he
glumly perceived that an old man walking his dog had spotted the approaching
craft and had decided to start up a little conversation. He was about to call
to the old man and request that he scan the water for anything unusual while
Decker closed with the dock. But before he could utter a word something caused
his kayak to turn three-hundred and sixty degrees about. Decker’s whole body
became one white knuckle as he realized that the big fish was finally making
physical contact.
His sense of logic told him that it couldn’t
be a shark, but a catfish was no more likely to be messing with his boat. He
had a mystery in the water below him, and it was whispering to that part of him
that was primal.
“Hey there young feller, I think you got a
catfish under your boat!” the old man declared as he tromped noisily onto the
dock.
“Do you have a camera phone?” asked the
kayaker.
“Yea. I’ll try and get a picture for you. Now
lets see….Gotta think this through every time I want to use it,” confessed the
oldster as he examined his own property.
The old man was focused on his mechanical task
when he heard disturbance on the water. His mouth opened as he then beheld the
grim sight of an overturned kayak. Crouching down slightly he squinted at the
water, expecting to see a man flailing to escape the cramped cockpit that always
appeared undersized to the uninformed. The paddle promptly rose to the surface
and slowly drifted away from the kayak, but there was nothing else to notice.
The old man gamely jumped into the water and
was relieved to discover that the water only came up to his chin after he
straightened out. The then quickly reached the boat and turned it to show an
empty cockpit. For the better part of ten minutes he felt around the immediate
area hoping to latch on to an arm or leg, but there was nothing. Then he cursed
his stupidity and brought out the cell phone that had now been in the water for
a long time.
Naturally it didn’t. But the dog conveyed his
disappointment at being the only one who didn’t get to go into the water. That
in turn caught the attention of a cyclist. When the biker saw an old man in the
water, he correctly assumed that some help would be appreciated. Three minutes
later the police arrived and began the first part of a documentation that would
be poorly received by investigators and media people alike.
In one of the more historic sections of Chicago reporter Carl Kolchak was grinning at
a little box that two years ago, he swore he would never use unless he needed a
tow truck. He was being entertained by the text messages being sent by a cub
reporter at the wet and windy end of town. The neophyte was relaying everything
the old man with the dog had to say about how the kayaker was probably done in by something that escaped from
the zoo.
Kolchak’s instincts; finely honed by many
years of experience told him that the kayak had probably snagged an underwater
garbage bag and the kayaker would be found sometime the following morning.
Kolchak’s theories tended to be fairly accurate, but his co-workers at the Independent News Service were loath to
acknowledge his old fashioned horse
sense. Carl Kolchak tended to be loud, tactless and insubordinate. He also
dressed like Sydney Greenstreet in the 1942 classic, “Casablanca.” (But only if Sydney had
slept in his suit for several nights.)
Kolchak’s own theory was that he wasn’t
refined enough for the would be intellectuals around him. A more accurate
statement would be that the staff was jealous of the strange relationship that
existed between Kolchak and the boss. Editor Tony Vincenzo would bellow at Carl’s
maverick reporter behavior but always
stopped short of disciplining him. No one was allowed to know why. They all
knew that Kolchak and Vincenzo used to work together back in Vegas. But why the two of them left town
together was a secret that they would carry to their graves.
In any case, Vincenzo never pampered anyone, especially when his heartburn
was acting up. So Kolchak’s smile of amusement was promptly crushed by new
marching orders. The man in the crumpled suit was ordered to take the place of
the rookie, because Vincenzo had gotten word that the Feds were now looking for the missing kayaker, and that undoubtedly
meant that the reporter in charge would be annoying someone higher up the
bureaucratic food chain than Chicago’s
Chief of Police Duane Crumbee.
The latter’s tie waved like a flag in the
night breeze as the chief waited impatiently for the police trolling boat to nudge up to a dock that
was one-hundred yards from the last one
to be visited by the constabulary. It would be a long night, but at least the
body had been found. Damn strange that it disappeared the way it did, and damn
strange that it returned in the dead of night.
“Well?” barked the chief.
“Half his right arm was bitten off,” reported
one of the men on the boat.
“Bull shit! You mean a prop took it off while
he was floating just under the waterline. This ain’t no community on the
Atlantic coast and don’t you forget it!”
“Nobody’s talking about sharks here,” another boatman said defensively. “But he could have
been attacked by a dog while he was trying to make it out of the water. Lots of
private beach a few miles to the east.”
“Didn’t you clowns read the initial report?”
growled the chief. “An eye witness saw the victim holding a kayak paddle with two hands before he went under.”
“Yea, and he mentioned a large dark object in
the water that might account for the capsizing.”
“But not the arm amputation,” stressed the
chief. “Only a boat prop could have done that.”
“Anyway Chief, we radioed the boat load of
Feds and told them that we got the stiff. They’ll probably beat us to the
morgue; they’re so hot on this whole
thing.”
“Don’t remind me,” grumbled the oldest man on
the dock. “The only thing worse than having Federal agents on our turf is
having them on our turf with a highly classified problem that needs to stay
classified.”
The corpse was transported to a waiting van
and the chief finished off his cigar while the lake victim was being loaded.
“There is one other theory we might explore,” said the first boat cop.
“Well out with it man. Like Jenkins said: the
Feds will probably be waiting for us at the morgue.”
“An ex Navy Seal might have gone nuts and killed the guy.”
The chief nodded slightly.
“Yea, that would explain the Fed’s interest.
But then we’ve have slit throat or a heart stab to look at. Not an arm
amputated.”
“Well, if the diver wants to make the killing
look like a boat accident, he might take an arm off.”
“Lung loads of water would be enough Dixon, but
at least you’re coming up with original ideas.”
The chief turned around in the semi darkness
and almost collided with the reporter who had been standing behind him.
“Kolchak, this is one case I don’t want you
anywhere near!” the chief declared without prior thought.
“You never
want me near any of your cases,” the reporter pointed out.
“And we all know why. Because you’re idea of Parliamentary Procedure would be going
to England and
telling the Prime Minister how to run that country.”
“No doubt your very bad joke is supposed to be
linked to my conduct at press conferences. Well I would be more than happy to
keep my mouth shut on such occasions if the other reporters knew how to do
their jobs.”
“If they are all so incompetent and you are the alpha dog of the pack, then how come you are constantly being reprimanded while the others get promoted
and end up in places like our nation’s capital?”
“To do what---ask the President about his golf
swing? There isn’t any news in Washington,
there’s only hot air. The whole country knows it but everyone keeps playing the
same tired old games. But when the Feds send
their black helicopter boys to Chicago—“
“There are no
black helicopters flying over this city!” bellowed the chief.
“You’re right. To be more precise, they are
flying over Lake Michigan.”
“How the hell did you find out about that?”
snarled the chief.
“Aw come on Crumbee, does Macy tell Gimbel?”
The chief was old, but not that old. He shrugged off this latest
quip and started his strategic retreat to his car.
“Don’t show up at the morgue, Kolchak. Wait—let
me put that another way—“
“I know what you’re going to say and such
sentiments are unworthy of a true professional.”
“Let the records show that Carl Kolchak;
defender of free speech is now delving in thought
control,” cracked the chief just before slamming a car door on the
reporter’s recording device.
Kolchak’s number one asset was his sense of
audacity. But his second greatest
asset was his ability to recruit low level government workers who weren’t
supposed to leak items to the Press. Fortunately for Carl, many bureaucrats see
themselves as ordinary taxpayers who want common sense in their lives as much
as anyone.
One such person is Melvin Schneider; morgue
attendant and occasional chump for anyone who is good at poker. As a government
employee Melvin brought home a large enough paycheck, but his wife controlled
the purse strings so when he would lose his gas allowance, Kolchak’s bribe
money could save the card player from a night on the couch.
The two men approached each other with the
caution of a pair of veteran drug dealers. Kolchak was only afraid for poor
Melvin, and Melvin was always afraid enough for the both of them.
“Well, what have you got for me?” inquired the
reporter while handing Melvin forty bucks.
“You’re going to love this,” promised the
attendant. “The cops have two theories to choose from: drowning followed by
boat prop mutilation---or the guy was
done in by a psycho scuba diver.”
“So the Feds
are here looking for a deranged ex Navy Seal?” Kolchak prompted.
“Nope.”
“You think the diver wasn’t deranged?”
“I don’t think there was a diver.”
“How come?”
“An arm was cut off at the bicep---but not by
a knife.”
“So somebody deliberately ran over the guy
with a boat?”
“Carl, I’ll be happy to tell you what I know
if you’ll just remain quiet for a second,” the attendant softly scolded.
The reporter raised a hand as if silently
taking an oath.
The amputation point was subjected to a great
deal of pressure. I doubt that the victim lost must blood as a result of the
amputation.”
“But the old man with the dog had his facts
straight didn’t he?”
“I didn’t dare ask. Come on Carl, I talk to
you about stiffs, not witnesses.”
The reporter twisted his face up in thought
and then asked, “Could a large shark or maybe a killer whale inflict the same
kind of wound?”
“Tiger
sharks have teeth for that kind of job, but only a bull shark could swim through so much fresh water to get here. You
won’t find a single marine biologist who would go near such a theory though.”
“Why not?”
“Two reasons: it’s never happened in this
lake---and such thinking would really piss people off. Trust me Carl, you try
and scare people with something spooky and the local authorities will come down
on you hard.”
“I think you’re right,” muttered the reporter,
who would never forget what happened to him in Las
Vegas.
The reporter nodded his thanks and headed for
the door. But before he reached it he turned and asked, “How come you know so
much about sharks anyway?”
“Nature programs. I’m sure as hell not going to
entertain myself with movies about urban killings after working here all night.”
“Yea, I wouldn’t waste time with any Hollywood crap
about newspaper reporters either,” acknowledged Kolchak.
Twenty minutes Kolchak was standing outside a
condo entrance facing the two mile walking trail that lead to the lake shore.
It was a nice area for older people. Semi high density residential that was
gang free and the cyclists were mindful of the oldsters on the trails. The lake
effects brought on merciless winters but if you no longer needed to commute to
work, the occasional snow storm was just something or talk about with fellow
dog walkers.
But this was summer, when an old man can look
at younger women and then stare at his own spindly legs with chagrin. Kolchak
was lucky to catch Butch Crenshaw at home. The old man hated being cooped up
almost as much as his hyper active toy terrier Max. Butch grinned at the reporter’s hat while the visitor made his
introduction.
“Well Mr. Kolchak, I can’t add anything to
what I told the police,” the old man said while offering the reporter a chair
and calming his agitated little dog.
“Sir I just want to ask you a simple question.
You said that you spotted a large dark form just under the surface of the
water. Now if you had to choose between a scuba diver or a giant catfish, which
of those choices would you go with?”
“The catfish of course. That thing was bigger
than a man, and a scuba diver wouldn’t have any call to drag off a drowning
victim even if he was swimming
nearby.”
“True, but catfish don’t get bigger than a man
do they?”
“No, but size records keep getting broken Mr.
Kolchak.”
“Are you aware that the Federal government is
investigating the kayaker’s death?”
“No sir, I only talked to the local
authorities,” the old man answered with a frown.
Kolchak thanked the man, scratched the dog
behind the ears and headed back to his car with the feeling that something bad
was going to happen before the sun went down. Actually it happened in a
co-worker’s parking stall just as the sun’s last golden rays crept over a
garbage dumpster across the street from the I.N.S.
suite.
Two men in large windbreakers came up along
Carl with practiced ease and quick marched him to a gas guzzling Chevy Suburban that didn’t need to get
good mileage because it was government owned. There was only one man in the
vehicle; seated in the back with a mild mannered look that would probably serve
him well enough in a poker game. The reporter was ushered in beside him and
they gazed out the front window in unison.
“Mr. Kolchak, Chief Crumbee speaks very highly
of you.”
“He hates my guts,” stated the reporter.
“Yes he does, but you could look upon that as a very high form of praise.”
The reporter smiled at that.
“Surely you are not about to say that Crumbee’s
job is the opposite of mine? A fellow law enforcement official would never
suggest that Crumbee’s job is to perpetrate cover
ups, while I on the other hand must uncover them.”
“Of course not---I am only saying that the
reporters in this city are almost strangers to the chief---except for you.”
“How could you know that? You’re not F.B.I. I
know everyone at the Chicago
office.”
“Let’s not waste time protesting the facts
alright? You are very good at what you do, but on this occasion it could possibly
compromise the security of the nation.”
Kolchak smiled at that. Every time a
government official wanted to shut him up it was because the people’s welfare
was at stake.
“May I have a name sir, or is this one of
those meetings that never took place?”
“Bret Waverly of the Department of Homeland Security.”
“Fatherland….Motherland…,” Kolchak
thought to himself.
“Mr. Kolchak, I’m going to give you a chance
to be reasonable. It is in your nature to keep digging until you find a bone,
so I’ll give you one, and then we’ll see if that will content you.”
“And if it doesn’t you’ll stomp on me,” the
reporter predicted.
“With both
feet,” promised the Federal agent.”
“Then I’ll listen with both ears,” Kolchak
responded.
Waverly nodded slightly and said, “The kayaker
was participating in a covert weapon’s project. There was a malfunction and he
was killed. He was working for us and he understood the risks involved. No one
else in the area was in the slightest danger from the experiment. Now you can
walk away from this or find a new job at your age. It’s up to you.”
“So the large dark shape in the water was some
kind of underwater drone?”
“Yes, but officially it was a bag of garbage
that got snagged on his rudder.”
“So I’m expected to sit on this very big story
until it becomes a rocking chair in my old age?”
“That’s right. Just like the vampire problem
in Las Vegas.”
A chill suddenly ran down Kolchak’s spin. (A
very rare sensation for the veteran reporter.)
“How do you know about that?”
“Vegas would have become a ghost town if the
truth had gotten out. Some people would have found a spiritual explanation for
it; saying that Vegas is a modern day Sodom
and Gomorrah fit for demons. Others would have blamed it on radiation.
Either way, the town would have been given back to the desert.”
“I’m still waiting for my answer.”
“There’s always one or two local bureaucrats
that believe that Big Brother should
be brought into the loop. After all,
who can safely assume that there is only one
vampire?”
“Is there more than one?” Kolchak asked
tensely.
“That is an on going question,” responded the
agent. “But we can only address the question if responsible parties do the
right thing and bring such matters to our attention. But on every level of
government it is necessary to protect the citizenry without creating a panic.”
“So now you’ll take your top secret work out
of Lake Michigan, where it probably
didn’t belong in the first place, and return it to the security of some
underground swimming pool,” the reporter speculated.
“Yes of course. But there might still be a
boatman or two with outdated information
for you. I trust you will ignore it and apply your efforts to the usual gang
violence and what not.”
“An occasional beheading does keep the job from getting stale,” quipped the reporter as he
got back out of the car.
“Then you’ll be happy to know they’re becoming
the latest status thing amongst bad guys,” responded Waverly just before the
door closed.
Kolchak then did what he always
did: pretend to retreat while actually planning to regroup. If Waverly felt it necessary to warn him about other
boatmen, it meant that the opera wasn’t over. Chicago being
the large city that it is Kolchak’s first step was to go back to I.N.S. and
have a talk with associate Ron Updyke. Ron’s beat or forte was all
activities concerning the upper class. That included yacht ownership on the
lake. Unfortunately Updyke was a member of that small but steadily increasing
group of people who didn’t care much for Carl Kolchak. Updyke was a mousey little
man who overdressed for every occasion and worshiped at the altar of propriety.
He had learned to hate Carl fairly early in their association and so Kolchak
would be skipping lunch while choking down helpings of crow and humble pie in
front of Updyke’s desk.
The little man with the mustache was already
set to defend himself before Carl could even cross the office.
“Oh relax Ron, I’m actually here to give you something, which I admit is
late in coming.”
“A ring side seat at your trial?” joked the little
man.
Updyke was referring to the fact that Carl had
made his way into more than one secured records facility and with more and more
video cameras going up, Ron was confident that sooner or later Carl would find
himself wearing orange coveralls.
“I’ve come to compensate you for the tow truck
thing that happened last week.”
The little man’s back stiffened at the memory.
Carl had parked in his reserved spot, so Ron called a tow truck to have
Kolchak’s car taken away. Unfortunately Carl had managed to put Ron’s car back
where it belonged so the tow truck driver ended up removing the wrong vehicle. The fact that Carl had
gotten a hold of a duplicate ignition key gave Ron and Vincenzo something to
talk about, with the boss smoothing things over in a gentleman’s bar.
(God bless St. Tony.)
Kolchak took eighty dollars out of his wallet
and handed the cash to the smaller man.
“Alright Carl, what is it you want?” asked Ron
while accepting the bills.
“An unusually large fish has been reported in
our end of the lake. I think there’s something to it because the police have
been all over the Benton Harbor area.”
“The police are searching for a fish?”
“No, they’re investigating the death of a
kayaker. But a large fish was seen shadowing the kayak when it capsized. The
police think it was a bag of garbage but my theory is that a giant mutated
catfish has become aggressive. You know---kind of like those bats that go crazy
when they eat bugs that are full of DDT?”
The little man blinked twice and said, “Well
Carl, the yachting crowd doesn’t go in much for cat fish; mutated or otherwise.
I rather doubt my sources in the area could help you.”
“Ron, you’ve worked with me long enough to
know that I don’t deal in probabilities, I
deal in possibilities,” Kolchak
lectured in a gentle tone. “My gut tells me I’m not looking for a bag of
garbage, and only the yachters spend enough time on the water to really be of
use to me. I know the odds are against me but then, they always are.”
The smaller man’s smirk was
straight forward, as was his dislike for the more seasoned reporter.
“Actually, if you’re looking for someone who
is truly one with the lake waters, I
believe I have the man for you. Be warned however, he is one of those rich
eccentric types. He’ll probably want to take you out for a spin in his
watercraft.”
“No problem. I don’t get seasick even when I’m
looking at a corpse that’s been in the water for a week,” Kolchak said happily.
“Whatever,” responded the little man while
jotting down the name of the contact.
“He’s in the book---with a name that is very
easy to look up.”
“Dexter
Runzpot,” Carl read with a mild
squint. “Yes, I suppose that will take less effort than Jim Anderson.”
Suddenly Vincenzo shuffled into the office
with a look that said, “I need to get some
exercise---maybe sometime next week.”
Carl stuffed the piece of paper
in his pocket and said, “I have a phone book in my car. I better try and beat
the east bound traffic rush.”
Kolchak got about three steps when the editor
boomed out, “Carl, one of Crumbee’s people called again. Were you poking around
the morgue?”
“So what if I was? The way he’s fretting over
this whole thing I’m inclined to think that this is bigger than a Natalee Wood story.”
“Well sure, Crumbee never complains about you
when the stiff is a nobody, so we can safely assume that they fished a somebody out of the drink. So what’s the
poop?”
“A kayaker named Decker got separated from his
boat. When they found him he had part of an arm missing.”
“Never ceases to amaze me,” the editor said
with a look of irony. “Those props might be six inches in diameter, and with
thousands of square feet of water the corpse gets chopped up like it was
stuffed in a blender. It’s like the laws of probability don’t count on the
water. Go figure.”
“Ah---yea Tony; go figure. Anyway I got some
follow up leg work to do so I’ll see you later.”
Without another word the boss shuffled into
his office, leaving Ron slightly disappointed that no disciplinary action was
required. Kolchak was out the door by the time Emily Cowles decided to stretch
her seventy year old legs and exercise her prerogatives as office den mother.
“Ron, that was very magnanimous of you. I
appreciate the fact that Carl sometimes rubs his co workers the wrong way, but
it only hurts him in the long run.
He’s all alone with nothing but his work. This is the one place where he might
experience some small gesture of friendship. Some form of comradery at least.”
The man in the immaculately tailored suit
shook his head firmly.
“No Emily, we all make the same choices in our
lives. If he wants to dress like a bum, cut out in front of other people at
press conferences and trespass to the point of becoming an amateur
burglar….well, he creates his own karma.”
“It’s easy being nice to amiable people Ron,
but when you’re nice to Carl Kolchak, you are deepening your sense of
compassion for—“
Suddenly the man cut loose with a chortle that
was more like a sneeze.
“Ron, am I misreading something?” the old
woman asked with a sudden suspicion.
“Well yes. You see that Runzpot fellow is an
inventor. Quite intelligent but he doesn’t have both oars in the water so to
speak. He’s very well acquainted with the lake but….”
“But what Ron?”
“I don’t know if Kolchak wants to get to know
the lake---that well,” the man said
with a grin that was one part humor and one part experience.
Dexter Runzpot was actually Doctor Runzpot, a man who held letters
in mechanical science, physics and marine geography. He was thin and kind of
reminded Kolchak of the actor Harold
Ramis. The reporter took an instant liking to the fellow, since they seemed
to have similar taste in clothing. (Minus one coat and add one pocket
protector.)
What was really
impressive was the fact that the Runzpot residence was on a four acre
section of beach front property and the house looked like it would sell for
around two mil. Runzpot answered the door himself and was ushering the reporter
through the house before he even knew what the stranger wanted exactly.
“Um, Mr. Runzpot, I was told you are very
familiar with this section of the lake. You’re probably unaware of the fact
that a kayaker lost his life some three miles up the coast. In the Benton Harbor area
to be precise. Now I have reason to believe that the cause of that young man’s
death is newsworthy in the extreme and I am looking for anyone who has seen
anything fairly large swimming in the water that would be difficult to account
for.”
The man of letters turned around in the middle
of a spacious study and regarded Kolchak with a look that was all too familiar.
“Are you operating sir, on the premise that
this large thing in the water actually collided with a kayak?”
“More like, sliding underneath it.”
“When exactly?”
“Around eight in the evening.
“Well, I suppose that is both good news and bad.”
“Why do you say that sir?”
“I never cruise that late in the day. For
maximum visibility I only go out between 10:00
a.m. and 2:00
p.m. So that means I didn’t accidentally kill that
man. Unfortunately people might come to the conclusion that I am guilty because
the facts fit the circumstances.”
“Um, what
facts and circumstances?”
The egghead made a split second decision and
said, “Mr. Kolchak, would you like to see something interesting?”
“Is that a rhetorical question?” asked the
reporter.
“Yes, I suppose it is. Since you’re here, I’m
thinking that it might be a good idea to establish a favorable rapport with the
Fourth Estate.”
“I’m always willing,” declared the reporter, “it’s the government
employees who seem to think that investigations need to age like wine or
something.”
Runzpot didn’t seem to hear the joke but
briskly escorted his guest to a small backyard that was one with the lakeshore.
“The winds must be terrible in the winter
time,” commented the reporter as they approached the entrance to a boathouse.
“Actually my sister and I only life here six
months out of the year. The rest of the time we’re down in Florida where
I study marine life forms.”
“You mean like giant alligators?” Kolchak
asked with an impish smile.
“If I’m fortunate enough to find any,”
responded the egghead.
The reporter mulled that over until he gained
access to the boathouse. Then he was given something bigger to focus on. The
watercraft was twenty-six feet long and cylindrical. It had an aircraft type cockpit
with a transparent dome bubble that suggested something that most people could
consider bizarre. The cockpit contained a single seat but there was room enough
behind it for a second passenger. That would prove significant further into the
interview.
“Is this what I think it is?” Kolchak asked
immediately.
“Yes Mr. Kolchak, it is a submarine. Well, to
be honest it’s little more than a toy really. The dome is made of high quality
material; worth more than the rest of the sub actually, but the hull is a
glorified beer can. I never operate below twenty feet. Until I get the flood
light installed there isn’t any point in wanting
to go deeper. The sun only penetrates so far even in July.”
“Wouldn’t make more sense to use an open
cockpit and where scuba gear?” asked the reporter.
“Yes but this gives me the opportunity to test
my sealing material. Besides which with a dry
cabin I can operate even when the water gets colder.”
“So---why aren’t you playing with this thing
in the Caribbean?”
“Because our home is here, and my sister won’t pay to have a base of operations set up
anywhere else.”
“Your sister holds the purse strings huh?”
“Er, yes---quite understandable really. You
see our parents left us with approximately three million dollars but I must admit
that if I had been left with half of
it, I probably would have squandered it on---well---my projects.”
“So who paid for this little baby?”
“My sister scrounged up a Federal grant or
something. I don’t really pay much attention to financial matters since Jane
doesn’t encourage that sort of thing.”
“And what
does your sister do when she’s not paying the electric bill?”
“She’s a professor of history. Sadly she
minored in psychology back in college
and consequently she’s always analyzing
everything that I do.”
“Yes, I’ve known people like that,” Carl said
with a polite smile.
“Mr. Kolchak, I’ve been working on a new type
of high pressure seal that will prove invaluable to companies that manufacture
submersible components. I was going to take you into the study and show you a
dizzying collection of charts and graphs pertaining to that project. I’ve found
that the best way to get rid of a reporter is by boring him silly. However,
because you are interested in something that could get me into a great deal of
trouble, I’ve decided to enter into a symbiotic relationship with you.”
“Uh—what does that entail exactly?”
“We shall be searching for the same thing. You desire a story and I need to exonerate myself. So we will
go hunting for whatever it was that really caused that kayaker’s death.”
“Why don’t you team up with the lake police?”
“The very second those bureaucrats enter this
boat house they will take away my freedom to use this vehicle. I would like to
find out how that kayaker died before the
city wraps my little toy up in red tape.”
The reporter grinned and said, “Professor,
your sister maybe the most practical
member of the family, but I think you understand the authorities well enough.”
“Does that mean you’ll launch with me, Mr.
Kolchak?”
The reporter frowned at the tear drop shaped
vessel.
“Gee I don’t know Professor; it’s a big lake.
What are the odds of us finding what we want on the first try?”
“Well, we know that we need to be in the Benton Harbor area,
and I’ve got what you might call an ace
in the hole.”
“What would that be sir?”
“You see that rudder cable?”
The reporter glanced at a long thin cable that
extended over the tail section of the sub and said, “Yea?”
“When I reach flank speed with my little toy
that cable begins to strum slightly. It produces a vibration that attracts
fish. One of these days I’m going to measure the rate of vibration and market
my own fish caller. Then perhaps I’ll be able to afford that base in the Caribbean that
we spoke of earlier.”
“What about the sealing material you’re
working on? Don’t you intend to make money developing that?”
“Yes, but I fear that will take
me at least ten years, and I don’t relish the thought that it will become a top
secret project if the material meets all my expectations.”
“Yea, that could
take some of the fun out of it,” Carl muttered dryly.
“Well Mr. Kolchak, are you game?”
The reporter mustered his courage and said,
“Alright, but I hope you have some contingency plan for an underwater
breakdown.”
“Oh yes; here, climb into the back and I’ll
brief you.”
Kolchak suddenly felt his age as he awkwardly
climbed up and into the semi cramped space behind the pilot’s seat. He could
recall similar experiences riding in small aircraft, except on those occasions he didn’t have to worry
about drowning because the pilot was an amateur sub builder.
Runzpot hastily pushed a button on the wall
and then vaulted into the cockpit with practiced grace. The sub was perched on
a miniature railway carriage that was set on some railway track that had been
purchased when a kiddie ride went out
of business at the local fair ground. The bay door facing the lake rolled up
and over them with a bit of rattling and Carl noted with interest that the sub
carriage was taking the sub down the track, out of the boat house and toward
the very edge of the lake shore. Since the sub was backing out of the shed, the
reporter had to strain his neck to observe the unique launching process.
“Must have been a nuisance putting down
track,” commented the reporter.
“Yes, but this set up is preferable to a semi
tractor trailer. My motor carriage is much like the electric train set most
children use, except much larger of course. My sister’s idea really. She’s
something of an environmentalist.”
“Even when she looks at the electric bill?”
“Actually I have a wave motion generator set
up a few feet to our right. It takes a while but it largely compensates us for
most of the electric power that we are using in this launch. I would also point
out that if a neighbor hears the rumbling of a diesel he might make enquiries
that would be unwelcome at this time.”
“Then why was I so well received?” asked the reporter.
“Oh I could never slam the door in someone’s
face, Mr. Kolchak. Besides which I fully intended to bore you to death with my
research papers. That way I would have gotten rid of you with feeling guilty.”
By that time the sub had been slowly wheeled
into the shallows of the lake and Kolchak scanned the water for powerboats..
“How many times have you launched this thing?”
“Twenty-three times not counting the time I
nearly ruptured myself pulling it out by hand.”
“And you’ve never been spotted?”
“My neighbors are not boaters, and to someone
a few hundred yards out on the water, I present the profile of a kayak once I’m
immersed.”
Kolchak nervously watched the water rise up to
where the hull joined with the observation bubble. Only about forty-five
seconds had elapsed since leaving the boat house. All in all it was certainly a
discreet enough set up. But was it also a save one? If anything went wrong they
would have plenty of privacy---in which to drown.
The water rose swiftly over the bubble,
reminding the reporter of a very important matter.
“You said you were going to brief me on what
to do in the event of a breakdown.”
“Ah yes; well, you see that plastic wrapping
leaning against the back of my seat?”
“I could I miss it? My toes are up against
it.”
“There is a compressed air cartridge attached
to it on your left side. If we have to bail out, we allow the cockpit to fill
with water so that we can open the bubble. Then we inflate the package which is
in fact a small raft and away we go. There are handles on both sides so the
raft would carry us swiftly to the surface as it inflates.”
“Wouldn’t that give us the bends?”
The reporter was referring to a
condition that divers fear in which nitrogen bubbles in the bloodstream.
“As I said before, I don’t intend to patrol in
deep water. Just twenty feet or so.”
“Well---the G Men were searching in deeper water,” Carl pointed out.
“But the kayaker disappeared right at a dock,”
countered the inventor, “and my little fish calling cable could get the
attention of creatures many miles away. Don’t forget that sound travels a very
great distance underwater. Whales communicate while miles away from each
other.”
The sub was leveled off at eighteen feet with
another ten to twelve feet between the craft and the lake bottom. When the
reporter gazed down all he saw was a collection of sand and small rocks. A few
miles later they began to see manmade objects such as bait buckets, cooler
chests and sheets of plastic.
“Well, at least there aren’t any coral reefs
to ruin,” the reporter said glumly.
“Coral wins out in the long run,” commented
the pilot.
“What’s that?”
“Coral prevails against manmade discards that
settle down on the bottom. Coral will grow on anything and in the case of open
containers they actually help form new coral formations that give shelter to
the smaller marine life forms.”
“Ah, well then I can stop feeling guilty about
the time I threw a beer can overboard off the coast of Australia.”
The inventor didn’t respond and Carl continued
to scan a watery world that was sparsely populated. Not once did he spot a
school of fish; only various specimens swimming alone that appeared out of the
murky distance to pass by and then disappear. They were bass, bowfin and
catfish for the most part, but only the catfish tended to catch and briefly
hold the reporter’s interest. The bottom feeder was the only lake fish that
resembled a creature commonly found along the Australians coasts.
“There’s something of interest,” reported
Runzpot.
“What?”
“A compressed air tank I think. I’m taking us
down for a closer look.”
Kolchak tensed slightly as the cockpit issued
soft moaning sounds. They were only going down an additional ten feet but that
was enough to remind the two men that their vehicle was homemade and not built
for the U.S. Navy.
“Definitely an aqua lung tank and some sort of
reinforced back brace,” the pilot assessed.
“No…..that’s not a back brace. That’s…..half a
human torso,” corrected the reporter. “Kind of hard to identify because its
still covered with part of a wet suit.”
“Are you certain?” the pilot asked while
squinting extra hard through the transparency.
“Look down at 6
o’clock. See the single vertebrae?”
“That could be a stone.”
“Nope, its bone.”
“Only a ship’s screw could do that much
damage, and they never pass through this area,” Runzpot stated emphatically.
“Cannon fire from a gunship could account for
it.”
“We’re only a mile out. That much noise would
have been noticed.”
“Not if they got him with the first few
rounds.”
“Who would they
be?” the pilot asked rhetorically.
The reporter let out a sigh of resignation and
said, “We should surface and call in Chicago’s Finest.”
“Out of the question. I will
not have three years of work taken away from me just because I don’t have
license plates on my vehicle.”
“Alright then, lets compromise: we surface and
get a rough idea where we are. Then we return to your home and make an
anonymous phone claiming to be a diver who came upon some grizzly remains.”
“But why would a diver remain anonymous?”
asked the sub builder.
“Uh---because he’s an un-certified diver. If the cops can’t find the left overs without our help, I’ll tell them I borrowed some scuba
gear from an anonymous friend and found the remains by myself.”
“That’s a great deal of lying,” muttered
Runzpot.
“Not for me it isn’t,” responded the reporter.
With that the pilot commenced a lazy upward
spiral toward the surface. Kolchak had noted that the visiting fish had stopped
their coming and going just about the same time the scuba tank came into view.
An old feeling was now creeping over him; a feeling he had gotten in more than
one remote and dismal local.
The sub broke through the surface with the
nose angled some twenty degrees skyward. Both pilot and passenger waited for
the craft to settle down onto an even keel but it didn’t happen. The pilot
frowned at this odd development and Kolchak glance back over his shoulder
because, after all, the problem was as much in the stern as it was in the bow.
Then the reporter did a double take and his
eyes grew larger than they had been in a long time. The professional observer
had discovered the source of their nautical abnormality. There was a shark
gnawing diligently on the rudder section of the mini sub’s tail. Carl couldn’t
calculate the monster’s length, but there wasn’t much doubt that it weighed at
least as much as the sub.
“Uh---Runzpot, I found out what’s wrong with
the boat.”
The pilot struggled to look past the reporter
and then seemed to enter into a hypnotic trance. The reporter brought up his
trusty camera and began to fire off one snap shot after another. The
construction of the sub placed the bizarre monster in full view. Runzpot had
built a rudder similar to what is found on airplanes. It was located above the
prop, and therefore on a level that displayed the creature in its massive
entirety. Kolchak saved the last two shots for whatever might occur next.
(Hopefully nothing of a terminal nature.)
“Does this thing have a reverse speed?”
In response to the question the pilot
throttled down and then altered the position of a secondary control stick. The
lack of forward propulsion was very much to the monster’s liking. It enabled
the predator to release its grip on the rudder and then take a bigger bite. Any
other shark under the present circumstances would have immediately deduced that
the sheet metal did not constitute any form of nourishment. Any other shark
would have taken a single, brief bite and then abandoned this thing that was
harder than a tortoise’s shell.
But this predator was not only out of place, it was also out or character. It gnawed away on the
rudder with the singular determination of a big dog chewing away on a large
bone. But then the prop began rotating again and this time it brought the sub’s
tail section under the shark and managed to graze the creature’s belly.
Kolchak’s eyes grew even wider as the ugly mouth relinquished the rudder and
drew nearer to the observation bubble; but only for an instant. When the
animal’s primitive brain registered the unaccustomed sensation of pain it
sheared off to the right and temporarily vanished.
The sub was now on an even keel and pointing toward
the middle of the enormous lake.
“Get this thing turned around and headed for
shore!” Kolchak demanded.
The pilot tilted the joy stick to starboard
after slipping back into forward gear. The sub began to plow along on the
surface but was just barely turning.
“Rudder damage,” reported the pilot.
“Can’t say I’m surprised,” answered Kolchak.
“That thing seemed to know just how to cripple a watercraft.”
Runzpot almost laughed. Almost, but not quite.
“The tail is everything to a fish. Every
predator instinctively knows that if you can disable the tail, the prey is
yours.”
“Yea but are sharks so dumb that it takes them
half a minute to figure out that solid steel isn’t very nutritious?”
“Tortoise shells aren’t all that yummy but the
Tiger Shark takes the trouble to saw
through them to get at what’s inside.”
“So what kind of shark are we dealing with?”
“Almost definitely a Bull Shark. They can live in fresh water and have been known to
swim many hundreds of miles up rivers such as the Amazon.”
“Have any been spotted this far
west before?”
“Never. It would be easier for me to believe
that the specimen was actually deposited into
the lake.”
“Something that
big? It must weigh a thousand pounds.”
“I was merely assessing the laws of
probability, Mr. Kolchak.”
“Well don’t let your assessing interfere with
your steering. You’re overshooting your mark,” said the reporter as the bow of
the sub began to turn away from the land both men thought they would be returning to.
“Drat. The rudder is more damaged than I
realized. We’re sailing in a circle,” said Runzpot.
“But will the circular course carry us to land
eventually?” asked the reporter.
“It would, except that we will run out of
battery power before that happens.”
“So what do we do?”
“You’ll have to crawl out on the tail section
and hammer the rudder straight.”
“Well there’s just one thing wrong with that idea Runzpot: the bubble doesn’t
slide back, it pivots up from the back of the cockpit.”
“I know Mr. Kolchak, I built the sub after
all.”
“My point is that I’ll have to get into the
water in order to mount the tail section.”
“Only for a few seconds.”
“And how far, pray tell, can a shark swim in a
few seconds?”
Suddenly something bumped against the bottom
of the sub.
“I believe this topic has just been
nullified,” the pilot said evenly.
“But Lady
Luck has not forsaken us completely. Look to your left,” the reporter
crowed with renewed optimism.
A small boat was motoring towards them while
on a parallel course with the shore. After closing to three-hundred yards it
turned away from shore and headed out to greet what was presumed to be a custom
made surface boat.
“Wow!! That thing really looks cool!” boomed
the middle aged man in the fourteen foot runabout.
“We’ve got a problem!” Kolchak shouted back.
“Our rudder has been damaged and we could use a tow to shore!”
“Hell, I’ll tow you all the way back to your
dock if you promise to give me a ride in that thing someday!” responded the
boater while killing his engine and drifting in closer to the disabled sub.
“I don’t want him visiting my dock,” Runzpot
said under his breath.
Kolchak rolled his eyes at the inventor’s
ingratitude and said, “This thing is heavier than it looks my friend. You’ll be
lucky to do much more than a crawl with us behind you. Just take us to shore
and I’ll see to it that you get you picture in the local paper.”
“You’re a newspaper reporter?” asked the Good Samaritan.
“Yup—went out for a spin in
this thing against my better judgment. It’s kind of cool looking but it can’t submerge
and it’s powered by a wimpy electric motor so it’s really nothing to get all
excited about…”
The inventor kept a straight face, pleased
that the reporter was salvaging the situation properly.
“Well, I don’t see anything we can tie my line
to so I’m afraid you guys are going to have to hold on to your end. Maybe if
you both brace your feet good an strong you’ll be able to keep from being
pulled out of the cockpit.”
“We’ll have to try it. I should have welded a cleat to the nose of this toy but I never
really thought that I’d need a tow someday,” confessed the inventor.
“This is a big lake,” responded the boater as
he tossed his boat line to Runzpot. “You really need to be prepared for any
possibility. Anyway, we’ll first get you turned toward shore, then I’ll—“
The boater’s train of thought ended right
there. Blind, mind numbing fear took the place of reason and a set of jaws
closed over an outstretched arm. The man in the little boat was able to
identify the monster that was now using gravity to return to it’s heavier
environment. But there were no questions of how
or why. Logic would insist that
the man was not being pulled out of his boat and dragged down into the depths
by a shark.
Runzpot saw that it was in fact happening, but
even his intellectual vantage point was compromised for an instant by a
phycology that was a million years in the making. The vertically positioned
creature slipped back down with it’s prey, and the tow rope somehow went down
as well. Runzpot was holding on because his hand muscles didn’t know what else
to do. Kolchak grabbed the back of the man’s collar but was forced to let go
when the inventor dropped into the same water that had just swallowed a monster
and man who had gone boating on a beautiful summer day.
All this horror in an instant, and the rope
was not yet finished with its mischief. A thousand and more pounds of muscle
was now tethered to the side or the roundabout, and the boat flipped over
before the monster realized that it needed to spit out the line that had become
one with the digestible food.
Runzpot, who was a bit closer to the
overturned boat, hastily climbed onto its snowy white keel.
“What the hell are you doing on that thing?!” Kolchak demanded to know.
“I---I just wanted to get out of the water,”
the man confessed with a sad shake of his head.
“Well you better get back on this motorized
beer can before Jaws returns to the buffet table.”
“No wait—I have an idea,” declared the
inventor just as he was about to slip back into the dangerous water. “Our
rudder turns slightly to starboard, but this light weight boat is on the sub’s
port side. If we were to drag it, it might keep us on course toward the shore.”
“No, my guess is it will just sink on us,”
responded the reporter. “With a man dead, I think it’s time to call in the lake
police.”
“No—please let me try my idea
first. The inflatable life raft has a section of tow cord with it. Break it out
and throw one end to me.”
The reporter complied and a moment later the
overturned boat was up along side the sub. Kolchak almost threw his back out
helping Runzpot regain the cockpit but anything was preferable to staying in
the sub alone.
“Alright---your job is to hold the boat line.
Feel free to let go if the boat does in
fact begin to sink. I’ll just creep along at a trolling speed.”
The sub began to move forward at a speed that
was frustrating but not detrimental to the overturned boat. They remained
pointed at the shore and a stiff breeze suddenly came up from astern. Even if
they were to run out of battery power at this crucial point , the wind would
eventually blow them to shore.
(If it continued.)
“I still think I should call for help,”
pressed the reporter. “Your secret is out, Runzpot. This section of the
shoreline is quite a ways from your private dock. You’re going to need to hire
someone to tow this thing from our landing point. Then the police will be mad
as hell because you didn’t call them when the boatman was killed.”
The inventor struggled briefly with his
feelings. He had become obsessed with the idea of maintaining control over his
unusual property. But at least he could take consolation in the fact that his
invention would not be blamed for the kayaker’s death. The real culprit had been found, and could be dealt with as soon as the
sub was beached.
“Alright Mr. Kolchak, call 911. We should mobilize the appropriate
forces before that monster takes another life. Can you handle your phone and
the boat line at the same time or would you like me to make the call for you?”
The reporter stared suspiciously at the
pilot’s back for an instant. His personal experiences had made him a cautious
man and it occurred to him that the inventor might still be harboring some
foolish idea about getting his precious submarine back under wraps.
“No, I’ll do it. Just power down for a moment
while I make the call.”
The sub dropped from a snail’s pace to one
that matched their tail wind. Then it became possible for Kolchak to hold the
boat line with only one hand and prepare to make the emergency call. Carl could
easily imagine the sound of Police Chief Duane Crumbee bellowing into his ear.
It would be unpleasant---but at least it wouldn’t involve giant teeth dragging
a man into the depths to be eaten. Would a predator that size need more than
one full sized human to satisfy it? Kolchak had this monster down as a compulsive eater. He could still vividly
recall how it relentlessly chewed away on the sub’s tail section. The reporter
pressed the green phone receiver icon and listened to the ring tone on the other
end. His lie would be kept simple and easy to believe. No mentioning of a
shark, just a short, easy to understand report of a man overboard.
It was a brief, glorious moment in which both
men were allowed to believe that technology safeguards modern men where their
forefathers would have met a grizzly death. For Carl it was just another
“almost,” that would add to his collection of bad dreams that were quite
different from what most men tended to experience.
The play wasn’t over with. The fat lady had yet
to sing.
The man in the cheap suit was too focused to
let go of the line when it snaked out of the cockpit in the blink of an eye.
The boat, even though belly up was abruptly shoved eight feet straight back and
then began to lazily drift away from the sub with no tether to hold it in
place. Carl didn’t notice much less care at that moment. The abrupt jerk of the
line pulled his upper torso over the port side of the cockpit but his legs kept
him inside.
Sadly, the same could not be said about his
cell phone. It went into the water,
and no one ever regretted becoming a litter
bug more.
“I can’t believe it. I just lost the damn
phone,” Carl growled half to himself.
“It’s alright. The wind is pushing us toward
shore. If it keeps up we should beach in perhaps two or three hours,” the pilot
assured his passenger.
The reporter didn’t respond, he just
maintained a dour expression meant for a shoreline that was pathetically
secluded. The expression seemed chiseled in granite until a strange sound began
to compete with the lapping of the waves against the diving planes.
“What do you make of that?” asked the
reporter.
“Scraping sound. I would guess a steel cable
but there’s no reason for encountering one around here.”
After a pause Kolchak said, “It could also be
gnawing.”
The pilot glanced past the reporter and shook
his head.
“If the shark was having another go at the
tail section we’d see a fin.”
“Not if it was nibbling from below.”
“At what? My rudder fin is above the prop.
Below the prop there’s nothing but heavy belly fuselage.
“Well, I just hope it doesn’t get any ideas
about tipping us over,” grumbled the reporter.
Another hour passed and the shoreline grew
larger. But then Carl happened to glance down and notice something that nibbled
at his optimism the way the shark was nibbling at their sub.
“There’s some water on the floor.”
The inventor twisted around and peered at the
section of the deck that he knew was a bit lower than the forward most portion.
Sure enough, there was a quarter of an inch pooling.
“Hmm. There is plate seam located on the aft belly section that might have been
subjected to an abnormal amount of pressure when the shark was gripping the
tail section. Perhaps dragging that overturned boat aggravated the break in the
seal. But it just seems so very unlikely.”
The two men listened to the scraping sounds a
while longer. Then Kolchak decided it was time to offer a suggestion.
“Let’s gun the motor for a couple of seconds.
Maybe we’ll get lucky and cut it more severely than the last time.”
“We could also damage the prop in the
process,” pointed out the inventor.
“Well, if all we can do is perform turning
maneuvers, what good is it except as a weapon?”
Runzpot heaved a sigh of resignation.
“Why not? It will give us a bit more of a push
toward shore and the turning effect is very gradual. Alright, here goes…”
The pilot brought the electric motor back to
life and was immediately startled by the results. The two men were denied
visual confirmation, but in fact, the reactivation of the propellers did work to their benefit. The shark’s
primitive brain could not maintain a healthy fear of the sub’s screw. After much poking and snooping
about, it decided to roll over on its back so that its mouth could probe that
which the creature was obsessed with.
When the prop reactivated, it sliced into an
unsuspecting belly, and the predator unwittingly then snapped at the prop as it
advanced along the front half of the creature while propelling the sub forward.
The shark moved off in pain and primitive rage. A section of entrails protruded
from its abdomen and several of its teeth had been lost along with a piece of
its lower jaw. But its brain issued not command for its body to flee. This
creature only understood attack.
Self-preservation was not part of its natural programing. It’s retreat was
nothing more than a large circle that brought the giant fish back on a
deliberate interception course.
“Drat,” said Runzpot when the evolutionary
marvel turned itself into a torpedo and streaked in to ram amidships.
“Jez,” exclaimed the reporter when the sub
lurched forty degrees to starboard.
A generous helping of lake water flowed in
before the inventor could close the cockpit bubble. Then once they were back on
an even keel the bubble was raised so that they could bail out water with
Carl’s hat.
“That creature is defies all logic,” said the
pilot while the shark disappeared briefly. It then reappeared and showed them
its tail as it swam in a shark like huff before turning with malicious intent.
“I’ve heard of dolphins ramming like that but
not sharks,” said Kolchak. “You don’t suppose it was made crazy by too much
polluted water?”
“Well, the hull seems to be holding up
alright---and we’re getting closer to the shore.”
“I’m not so sure about the hull. I keep
bailing but I’m not making as much headway as I would expect to make,” pointed
out the reporter, who’s running shoes were still submerged.
“We’ll make it. We only need to be patient.”
The shark rammed the sub a second time from
the other side and in the process realigned the nose of the sub with the shore.
The blow was lighter this time and no water spilled in. The cockpit rocked for
an instant and then Runzpot once again brought the propeller back to life. The
sub was allowed to stray twenty degrees before the prop was once again brought
to dead stop. Now they were only one-hundred and fifty yards from shore.
“You know I’ve heard a million people complain
about how crowded the lake shore is. Right now I’d give my right arm to see a
volley ball tournament on the beach,” complained Carl.
Runzpot nodded grimly. He had always hoped for
foul weather so that the lake rowdies as
he called them, would remain in the bars and pool halls and leave the lake
shore empty. Now he’d give half his inheritance for just one old man walking
his dog. The shark chose to discontinue ramming but instead came up with a new
form of aggression. The big fish swung in from the front and got hold of the
starboard diving plane with its bleeding mouth.
“Uh oh,” said the inventor while hastily
closing the cockpit bubble.
The sub listed to the shark’s side and both
men stared in dismay as the big fish gnawed away at the diving plane like a
bull dog on a bone.
“Any chance of that fin coming out of the
hull?” asked Kolchak.
An instant later the reporter got his answer
as the sheet metal construct was worked free.
“Well I wasn’t expecting anything like that
when I installed the bloody thing,” Runzpot muttered apologetically.
“If I were a critic of marine engineering, my
only complaint would be your aversion to communications devices,” the reporter
responded.
“I muddled along just fine when this was a
shark free lake,” countered the inventor.
Kolchak let out a sigh and then craned his
neck in search of their metal munching nemesis.
After a few nervous minutes the reporter said,
“Maybe that diving plane used up the last of the critter’s teeth. Do you
suppose a shark could gum a man to
death?”
Suddenly the inventor’s index finger went up
as he was blessed with an inspiration. Working the joystick he was elated to
discover that the remaining diving plane still worked.
“I’m done pretending to be a piece of drift
wood,” announced Runzpot. “We’re heading for shore under power.”
“So what’s going to keep us from turning in a
circle?” asked Kolchak.
“The diving plane,” the inventor responded
happily. “It will create drag on the opposite side that the rudder is
favoring.”
“You sure?”
“There is only one way to find out,” said the
pilot as he brought the electric motor back to life for the last time.
The sub proceeded toward the beach in earnest
and Kolchak chose not to mention that the water in the cockpit was getting
deeper. Then with only sixty yards of water remaining the shark reappeared and
did the one thing that could spoil their perfect set up. The lake monster
pushed on the side of the bow section until the nose of the sub had swung
around one-hundred and forty degrees. Then it slipped back into the depths and
left its opponents to contemplate this latest development.
“Looks like we’re driftwood again,” muttered
Carl, who suddenly recalled a childhood experience at another smaller lake.
Carl remembered picking up five pound rocks
and dropping them on pieces of driftwood while pretending that the driftwood
was a Japanese warship. That gave him an uneasy feeling; the kind that had an
unfortunate tendency to precede danger.
“Simplest way to sink a piece of driftwood is
to drop a heavy object on it,” Kolchak said out loud.
The inventor twisted around to frown at his
passenger. There was something in the man’s tone that was very suggestive.
Runzpot was about to make a comment when the lake water to their right exploded
into a solid geyser of determined marine life. Nearly a thousand pounds of dead
weight rose and then fell on the nose section of the sub. Fortunately the
bubble had been in the down position when the shark made its incredible leap or
the attack certainly would have separated the two men from their beer can like
shelter.
The crash dive only took them down twelve feet
to a relatively sandy bottom. The bubble was cracked in the front of the dome,
but it remained intact, and after a cloud of sand finally dissipated the two
humans were treated to an amazing sight.
The shark was now lying across the nose
section of the grounded submarine. By now Runzpot had gotten over the shock of
the crash dive and was waiting tensely for the predator to rise up off the hull
and commence an victory lap. But the creature remained draped over the steel
and didn’t move a muscle.
“You think maybe the shark is trying to hold
us down so we won’t surface?” asked the reporter in awe.
“A few hours ago I would have laughed at you
for suggesting such a thing,” said the inventor. “But now---I don’t know what
to think.”
“Well, the water leak has gotten worse,”
reported Kolchak. “We got maybe five minutes before we’ll be forced out into
the lake.”
Runzpot nodded while staring hard at the giant
fish.
“I’m thinking that it’s been injured to some
extent. Sharks have to keep moving in order to breath. But I don’t know how
long they can remain immobile before they actually succumb to a lack of
oxygen.”
“Well---we
are going to succumb to the same thing pretty soon unless we swim for it.
What I need to know is, do we inflate the raft and ride it to shore or simply
hold on to it and swim alongside?”
“Climbing into it would take precious seconds
that could be used swimming to shore. Besides which the floatation device has
no paddle. I think we should just use it to gain the surface quickly and then
abandon the raft for a quick swim.”
Then after a brief pause the inventor asked,
“You can swim unaided can’t you?”
“Yes, but if that critter gets aroused by us
swimming in the water, one of us might need the raft when a leg gets chomped
off.”
“I think we should guard against becoming too
analytical,” Runzpot cautioned as the water approached his chest.
“I’m just mindful of the fact that the shark
would probably reach our legs first,” responded Kolchak.
“I take it you swim slowly.”
“I’m pretty good as climbing stairs and even
fences, but I haven’t been in a pool in a long time.”
“Well Mr. Kolchak, from a purely survivalist
point of view, that might be good news for me,
but I wish you luck anyway.”
The reporter grinned at that as the water
approached his chin.
“Are you ready to inflate the bag?” asked the
sub driver.
“Yea.”
“Alright---inflate three seconds after the
water covers your face.”
When the cockpit was all but filled Runzpot
lifted the dome and managed to get hold of Kolchak’s sleeve as the inflated
raft lifted the reporter swiftly to the surface. He stole a downward glance
just before his head broke the surface and he was almost positive that the big
shark had not abandoned its resting place on the bottom of the lake. The two
men then set out for shore as if a large fin were right behind them. When they
reached the shore their chests were heaving and they were oblivious to
everything except the earth they were now crawling on.
“Why is
it always me?” thought the exhausted reporter as he sat up on the rocks.
“Have to---mark this spot,” the inventor said
between gulps of air.
The sun was down by the time they reached
Runzpot’s driveway. They didn’t even think
about thumbing a ride since they were still wet. Besides which it felt so
damn good to be alive that they rather enjoyed the feel of the good earth under
their feet. In fact they felt little trepidation when they entered the driveway
and saw three government vehicle parked around Kolchak’s convertible.
Bret Waverly wasted no time announcing that
the two emotionally exhausted men had meddled in a top secret government
project. That meant that they probably found the sub with a metal detector. But
did they also know about the other big
thing lying on the lake’s bottom?
“Mr. Waverly, I will happily state, while
under the scrutiny of a polygraph mind you, that I have not encountered any
hint of a government operation while using my submersible. What we have encountered however, is a marine
abnormality that I am certain will exonerate me, regarding any local safety
ordinances I may have overlooked…”
“Yes, the marine abnormality. I tell you what
we’re going to do Mr. Runzpot. We’re going to let you retire to your bedroom
and change into some dry clothes and then we’ll have a nice long chat about the
marine life in your study.”
“The sort of chat that members of the Fourth Estate must not be privy to?”
inquired the reporter.
“Your question is misdirected Mr. Kolchak,
since you are about to be transported to the University of Chicago Medical
Center.”
“Why, pray tell?”
“You’ve had a traumatic experience and we want
to make sure that doesn’t leave you emotionally scarred for life.”
The reporter was still wearing a suspicious
look when he was ordered into the passenger seat of his own Mustang. Kolchak
wondered if he was truly heading for a medical facility, or someplace where
muscular amateurs sometimes play with hypodermic needles. Runzpot was now on
his own, but that had pretty much always been the case with the exception of
his sister who was currently somewhere in Europe. The
inventor was not happy when he entered the study and found Waverly with his
nose in some of the research papers.
“I suppose I should have gotten in the habit
of locked my data up when not in use. But it’s not the sort of thing that
tempts cat burglars and the like.”
“Oh you haven’t had anything to fear from
prowlers for quite some time now. You’ve been under surveillance ever since the
first sub parts were secreted onto your property. At first the components were
thought to be some sort of terrorist weapon, but then we found out about the
research grant and realized that you’re just a red blooded American inventor
like Edison.”
“So are you interested in my high pressure
sealing technology, my efforts with submersibles, or the shark carcass lying on
top of my sub?” asked Runzpot with a slight smile.
“You truly are
an over achiever Mr. Runzpot, but your recent nightmare like experience was
entirely of your own making. Your sub attracted something that was programed to
seek out mechanical operations taking place under the water. Sadly, the people
watching you were quite unaware of another
project taking place in another part
of the lake.”
“You placed that shark in the lake,” the
inventor speculated.
“Yes. Some very interesting hardware was
implanted into the shark’s brain about six months ago. The idea was to turn the
fish into a sort of robot.”
“Why did you have to experiment with such a
huge specimen?”
“It simplified certain surgical challenges.
Besides, the whole idea is to use a shark as a weapon. A two foot sand shark
just wouldn’t cut it.”
“But why the lake? You belong in the Atlantic with
such a project.”
“I won’t get technical with you, but we were
having a bit of trouble related to salt water. I’m sure we’ll solve that
problem in time.”
The inventor flew into an unaccustomed rage
and yelled, “You killed two men and almost killed two more you incompetent
buffoon!”
Waverly displayed a measure of guilt. (Which
for him was also an unaccustomed emotion.)
“There was a pilot program that utilized young
whale sharks. It went on for nearly four years without a hitch. We really
thought we had a handle on everything except the salt water problem.”
“And now you’ll do what---bribe me to keep
quiet about all this?”
“You were destined to work for the government
sooner or later. We’re going to triple your research grant and of course you’re
in no hot water with local government.”
The inventor shook his head in dismay.
“I just can’t believe you could be so
irresponsible.”
“We had a plastic explosive planted in the
shark’s brain as well. All we had to do was keep the detonation transmitter
within a quarter mile of the animal and we could turn it off like a light
switch. But your submarine triggered a programed response we weren’t expecting.
Anyway, its time for you to look forward.”
“What about Kolchak?”
“He needs a good night’s sleep. He’s going to
get one. Then he’ll be ready to resume his life. Something no one should ever
take for granted.”
Carl Kochak woke up in his own bed, feeling
like he had really hung one on just a few hours earlier. He couldn’t remember a
thing; just the crazy dreams that made no sense at all. He made himself some
instant coffee, but kept mulling over the dream memories because somehow he
knew that they were important. Dreams of thrashing about in deep water. Dreams
of something threatening him from behind. He tried to focus on it all for over
an hour. Then he decided to write it down on paper, so that he wouldn’t forget
any of it.
He took out his lucky pen; the one he had
managed to hold on to all these years. It
and his pot pie hat had managed
to stay with him for more years than he cared to remember. He had replaced the
ink cartridge many times and held on to the writing implement because it had
been given to him by his journalistic mentor. But when he pressed down on the
familiar button nothing happened, and he wondered if perhaps the spring had
finally broken.
He disassembled the pen and was surprised to
discover that the ink cartridge wasn’t there. Instead there was a rolled up
fragment of paper with words written in his own hand.
“It simply read:
“Killer
shark in the lake. Find Runzpot.”
Kolchak had himself a
mystery. It made him smile slightly. For him, it was the perfect way to start a
day.
copyright 2014, Kevin Schmitt